New legislation aiming to crack down on tech companies may sound good in theory, but why wait for the government to “handle” what we can do today?

I’m conflicted by the issues of our government in general, but for this issue, which is often raised to inspire fear-mongering and tribalism, I am crystal clear: Your data is warfare and our government does not have the solution. 

There is no legislation that can babysit our youth. There is no substitute for common sense. There is no alternative to self-discipline.  

The harmful effects of social media are well documented and indefensible. Improvements need to be made and some of what’s proposed in the new bill are huge steps in the right direction. However, as it normally does, the government has overstepped and now we are to believe they are going to help us decide what is “ok” and what is “not ok”? There’s talk of certain platform endorsements of new policies, meanwhile these platforms are mostly known for dick pics and drug plugs. 

Let’s look at how our society handles other toxic behaviors. It certainly isn’t by legislation alone. 

There is no scenario in which alcoholics wait for Jack Daniel’s to change their recipe before changing their drinking habit. We don’t blame casinos for gambling debt, or McDonald’s when we order too much at the drive-thru. We don’t expect Marlboro to teach kids that smoking is harmful. There is no scenario where we blame sex workers for philandering partners (oh wait, we actually do that). And yet, here we are waiting for tech monoliths to bow to government mandates and make changes that we can do now ourselves:

1. Control yourself—If you are an addict, social media is now on your list of triggers. You may need to abstain completely or you may be able to scroll a little here and there. You may have no problem at all putting it down after you’ve had enough and not thinking about it endlessly. Good for you. No, it’s not fair, but neither is anything habitual in life. Do what’s right for you and your family. Every generation must deal with nuances of advancement and addiction, this is ours. Our parents dealt with cable and the internet. It wasn’t perfect, but I didn’t pay for either and both were removed if I misused them. Stop bitching about it and do what you need to do. 
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2. Stop playing dumb—You do not have the luxury of saying “you don’t understand” social media if your kids are on it. If you are allowing your child to have social media, you need to understand it and monitor it. No exceptions.You were not given the keys to the car to learn to drive it by yourself, you were not dropped off at the club to party alone in junior high (I kind of was, but that’s a different story), you were not—or shouldn’t have been—allowed to have all the booze, smokes, porn and game consoles you wanted without supervision. And yet… it’s just too hard to understand? Parents, at the very least the social media platforms can give you tips on their current privacy settings and tools. It's not perfect, but it’s a start.  

TikTok Safety Center
Snapchat Safety Center

3. Don’t fuel the fire—We can’t change behavior in other people in real life, so don’t expect to change them online either. What you can do is NOT reply, NOT like, NOT share and NOT comment and please… do NOT copy/paste and text/send to your friend because you perceive it to be incorrect, violent, offensive, outrageous, etc. Each outrage is a play count. Each interaction is fuel. Wasted energy. If you ignore it or block it, it will eventually disappear from your feed and your life. The algorithm can work in a positive way. If you touch it, your fingerprint remains. Control your own consumption.  


4. Don’t be a hypocrite like our government officials who emotionally wave the flag of progress sadly satiated by the tears of parents who are dealing with the ricochet of teen suicide. Make no mistake about it, in no time they will be posting on their socials, facts or not, either congratulating themselves for something or tearing down someone else. They say social media is awful… until it serves them. 

5. Make ‘Em Wait—Delay your children from having social media for as long as possible. You can use platforms and/or consume media on shared profiles, you can give training wheels on private accounts with supervision, you can use the creative tools without broadcasting publicly. There’s a lot of work-arounds that give way to your loved ones learning the platforms (and you too) without contributing to their permanent digital footprint. Know that no matter what you do, something will happen, because online is life and shit happens. But no13-year-old needs a public broadcast channel, period. When you decide what’s right for your family, cool…  but even as a feral Gen X’er who had barely any parental supervision, I can assure you the word I heard most from my parents when I asked for anything was “no” and I survived (still pretty angry I got Coleco and not Atari, but again another story for another time).  

Be good…online and in real life.
Jennie

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